I spent the majority of my time as a solitary practitioner; a hedge wizard. I learned most of what I knew for a very long time through trial and error, studying the energies I came into contact with, and connecting with nature and whatever else I could find looking through the veil. It did wonders for me. I grew in skill and knowledge on a level of certainty that books and groups couldn\’t match. I am, by nature, overly critical of myself and extremely competitive. In a group setting, my attention very quickly shifts to what others are doing better than me. Magick is based off of power of will, which is heavily influenced by confidence. If I had grown myself in a group setting, I would have never got past my first inadequacy. As a solitary practitioner, however, I couldn\’t see others succeed where I might fail. Everything was new ground. If I tried something new and it didn\’t work, that\’s okay, I can try again. For 15 years, I threw myself beyond the veil, soaking in the energies within the American Heartland. Communing with the dead, meeting my guides, helping others, healing others, kicking the ass of those darker spirits that wanted to cause harm. I was a shaman. A pathfinder. A medicine man. But I was rough. I was clumsy. I didn\’t know anything beyond what I had dug up on my own. My world was about to get much MUCH bigger…
Flash forward to the year 2007. I had made several like minded friends along the way, witches, elementalists, ghost hunters, mediums. There were people I would on occasion collaborate with. We would sometimes discuss our crafts and observations. It was good for the soul but in the long run, there hadn\’t been much useful information to gain. Until the day I met a dragon. No, not an actual dragon, I\’m not crazy…not crazy crazy. But symbolism has value, there\’s Magick in using a shared reference to refer to a common grouping of traits. And she was a dragon.
In 2007, I had heard stories from several of my friends about a seer. A woman that could read people flawlessly and had some valuable insights to share on what their paths ahead might look like. I knew this could be my opportunity to learn. To actually learn something beyond my ability to teach myself. I made sure that the next time my friends were going to see her, I was brought along for the ride.
I remember we pulled up to the old, crumbling stone building. Beautiful German architecture that had long been neglected and turned into a slum lord\’s apartment complex. A group of 3 guys stood outside smoking, little did I know that in time they would come to be my brothers.
A weathered wooden door hung loosely from rusted hinges, separating the outside from a small, dark entryway leading to several units. We entered the door to the right and walked through a thread-bare sheet hung on two bent nails. A staircase led up several feet before turning to the right. I noticed a gecko that had been hand painted on one of the steps. As we approached the upper floor, the air was filled with smoke and music, Avenged Sevenfold if I remember correctly. Passing a massive mural of two dragons ( Bahamut and Tiamat ) I was led into a small dark room just past the stairs.
This was the dragon\’s lair. The chaotic home of the seer; and my first teacher. I won\’t tell you what she told me, that part is just for me. But I will tell you she had the gift. She proved everything I had heard to be true and it was clear she could teach me a great deal. I humbled myself, put aside my accomplishments and ego, and for the first time to anyone, I asked the dragon to be my teacher.
After a long pause, a drag off her Marlboro, and a sip of rum, she said \”Rule number one: Know Thyself.\”.
The dragon always liked to word things in unique ways to make sure you remember. Noone can forget something as stuffy and yet simple as \”Know Thyself\”. What she meant by this, as I came to learn, was that you must know every bit of what is \’you\’. Your energy. Your thoughts. If you are going to work with energy, especially when other beings are involved, the most fundamental thing is to know what is you and what is foreign. I was an exorcist by trade, and somehow It had never occurred to me that I should be able to identify foreign energy hanging out in my space. Like I said, solitary work can only get you so far. This became a guiding principle for my practice. I was already skilled at analyzing and studying energy so it came pretty quickly. The more I knew what my energy, thoughts, and emotions felt like, the more control I gained over myself. I learned discipline like I hadn\’t known before. I became quick and precise at noticing subtle changes in energy. My ability to cleanse homes and objects became effortless. My exorcism felt like I had outleveled my opponents. By far the most important lesson I ever learned was \”Know Thyself\”. Thanks to the dragon.